Read the most disturbing thing today by a much older person on the comics scene, an anti-feminist of the sort who declares that women really need to get over being upset by things like harassment and just ignore it and it will go away. By golly, back in her day, we had to put up with much worse, and if we had to take it, you have to take it too!
And I realize where this comes from: a misguided anger at the men she could never get to treat her with respect. She had to develop a mask of respect by keeping her head down and being one of the boys. And so, she is imperious and Alpha Dog Female to the girls.
But I like to think that things like stalking and harassment should be addressed and dealt with whenever we can, and to the best of our individual ability. I know that everyone has their limits, and not everyone can deal with directly addressing this problem. You should definitely pick your battles. But you’ll never win the war unless you fight sometime. Always keeping your head down, sticking to “the work” as if it will go away if you ever get the guts to look up, is not only harmful to you, it’s nothing like respect, and it enables the cycle of emotional violence to continue.
I like to think younger generations of women will not have to grow up armored assholes to deal with assholes, tossing off a crusty “Get over it!” every time a young girl gets groped at a con, or gets a barrage of rape threats on twitter. I prefer a world where men and women stand up and say, “This is not acceptable,” to a world where men and women chastise others to develop crocodile hides as if ugly words and ugly actions bounce off it.
It doesn’t. It just makes you ugly, too.