Nice vid for inspiration. Really worth your 7 minutes.
Hat tip: Patrick Ross.
So, many years ago, I hired some poor fan on the skids to help me out around the house and office, and what did I get for my pains? Nearly two decades later, he’s claiming he was never paid, which is a big fat lying liars who lie Lie, and that he was SEEEEKRITLY my inker. And for awhile he was also claiming he was SEEEEKRITLY my boyfriend. Ugh. Schmuck. I
whined blogged about it here.
I used to feel really bad when some whack job would run around and pull this sort of number on me, until the day I got over my embarrassment about being a nut magnet and realized EVERYBODY in the creative profession is a nut magnet. Career Conflation and Importance via Proximity is a universally crappy experience we are all forced to endure.
Now that we have social media, we can share these creeptastic stories with our peeps on our private pages. I feel so much better when I know I’m not the only eye in the center of the Stupidstorm.
Name dropping for fun and profit is the primary currency in fandom and if you can’t get cozy with a good story, get cozy with a bad one! Power via proximity makes the fandom go round. Why…it’s just like Hollywood, only without the Louis Vuitton and extraordinarily high maintenance personal hygiene.
LEVEL BLACK: The Delusional Jerk
These people are either lying or exaggerating level green or yellow stories to make them much more interesting than they actually are. They consider themselves in a higher caste than the people they hang out with, and they will drop names like its no tomorrow in order to illustrate just how much better they are from you. However, the secret is out: these folks are full of shit.
Several of my pro peeps shared their tales of woe with me, of jerkasaurus assistants, and other minor functionaries, whose conflations caused drama where’er they did tred.
Thanks to the delightful Cully Hamner, I now share with you this tale of the Art Assistant From Hell, He Who Thinks Spotting Blacks makes him…An INKER.
It’s amazing to have to explain to an assistant that filling in blacks *isn’t* actually inking. I have a similar story with a guy who was interning at Gaijin, filling in the backs and such. He was telling people on some message board that he was my inker on BLUE BEETLE. So I sat him down, poured the pressure on him. He kept trying to tell me that since he was filling in my blacks– putting ink on a page, in other words– that he was actually the inker. He would not hear any logic otherwise.
At a con sometime later, after he was no longer our assistant, he told me he was working for “DC Animation.” When I questioned further, he admitted that he had simply done some unpaid designs for a group of people trying to PITCH a show to WB Animation using DC characters. When I told him this didn’t mean he was “working for DC,” he said that he WAS– he simply hadn’t been hired yet.
Still later, I caught him on another board telling people he was writing the next Superman movie “for DC Comics.” So, I called him out again: DC Comics doesn’t produce the movies, I said. It’s for a different part of DC, he said. Who are you working for, I asked. He gave me a bogus name. When I told him how many DC people I had contact with, and that no one seemed to know the name he gave up, he freaked out, and said he didn’t owe anyone an explanation. Weird thing is that the other posters on this board defended him…!
It was just stunning that this little asshole thought he could bullshit someone who *actually* does many of the things he *claims* to do…
Alas, Cully, I’m sorry you had to endure that. It is almost exactly like what I went through with Doctor Lizardo, and we know many pro peeps who share similar stories. Thanks for sharing yours.
And remember kids: spotting blacks is not inking. You have to earn those chops. You don’t get the pro bucks and the pro respect unless you have the pro skills. There is an order of magnitude between what you are doing as piece work, and actual creative work. The fact that you don’t know that is why you are where you are, and why Cully Hamner is where he is.
Lying will not endear you to your client.
Good luck with that career.
This has got to be more than ten years old, but here it is on Youtube!
Good God, I’m wearing Thessaly’s glasses…
My desk is full of flowers, not files.
A few years ago, I had the great privilege to work with J Michael Straczynski on a series called The Book of Lost Souls. Issue 3 was a particularly compelling installment.
A young girl, haunted by her dead lover, lives on the street and dreams of a life as an artist. She’s haunted by a voice: a voice Jonathan describes as “The Voice of Reason and Resentment.”
The voice of madness is the voice that says, “Someday people will listen to me.”
It is the voice of madness that says, “I will make little black marks on pieces of paper, and those marks may one day change the world.”
It is the voice of madness that whispers to us in the midnight silence. “I am not what you see. I have dreams, and though I have nothing tonight, tomorrow I will escape this place.”
The voice of madness is the voice that believes, despite all evidence to the contrary, that sustains us when logic demands we surrender to the louder voice – the Voice of Reason and Resentment. And it always comes in the guise of those who love us most, who only want the best for us. And the knives come softly, oh, so softly…”I’m just trying to protect you…”
Listen to your voice of truth. It only sounds mad to people who can’t hear their voice.
Have some more flowers.
Buy the Book of Lost Souls trade paperback collection direct from me, and save 25% of cover price! Shipping included! Also save on foreign cost and shipping, nearly $10!
From the Press Release:
Doctor’s Hours at 20 Jay Street, Brooklyn
Monday March 28, 6-9pm
Have a new body of work no one has seen? Have a new website? Ready for some feedback on images for an upcoming deadline? Come to NYFA’s Doctor’s Hours for individual, 20-minute one-on-one consultations with local curators, critics and gallerists. Get practical and professional advice in person from one or more arts professionals. Each appointment $25, with a three appointment limit and the opportunity to share your work will be provided.
Consultants: Monday, March 28, 6-9pm
Stephanie Adamowicz, Art Consultant and Writer
George Adams, Gallery Owner, George Adams Gallery
Nathalie Anglès, Founder, Residency Unlimited
Marco Antonini, Curator and Writer
Riva Blumenfeld, Art Advisor and Educator
Erin Donnelly, Arts Manager and Curator
Sarah Greenwalt, Art Advisor
Margaret Mathews-Berenson, Independent Curator and Arts Educator
Kimberly Marrero, Curator and Arts Advisor
Steven Sergiovanni, Director of Mixed Greens
These bios provide an opportunity for you to reseach which consultants would be appropriate for the advice and feedback you are seeking.
TO REGISTER: events.nyfa.org
Registration for Doctor’s Hours begins Monday, March 14, 2011.
*please note – this link will not be active prior to Monday, March 14.
New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA)
20 Jay Street, Suite 740
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Directions are available on our website
QUESTIONS: Please email [email protected]
A Distant Soil is © and ® 2011 Colleen Doran. All rights reserved.
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