Thank you for your attempt to warn me about the person who told you something mean about me, and you are sure it is a moral imperative that you tell me what this person said.
Don’t. Just don’t.
Look, you’re not doing me any favors, you’re just spreading gossip. And old news is old news. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they regret it. Maybe not.
Even if every word said was absolutely true, it’s so stupid and petty I weep that adults whip up this kind of drama over stuff which should have been left in high school.
I don’t really know why this person would come out of the woodwork like this, and I don’t really want to be burdened with another unfortunate moment that will make me carry the burden of seeing this person in a bad light every time their name comes up.
Knowing what they said brings me nothing. It enlightens me not in the least.
It does, however, give the cheap, momentary power of being In The Know. I think that’s the appealing power of gossip.
I don’t like to play “Let’s you and them fight,” especially over something as petty as what you just said to me. No, I don’t care what this person said about my hair, or my weight, or my work, or my conduct, or anything else. In fact, I never really knew this person in the first place, and only spoke to them over the phone. That was about 13 years ago.
I’ve been judiciously avoiding them since, but you won’t find one word about them on my blog, or a comment thread, or anywhere else from me, because when I drop someone, I really drop them. I don’t belabor, I just negate, because that is the kindest thing you should do for someone who has been unkind.
If they’re carrying some kind of mad-on…guess what.
That’s their burden. Not mine.
Don’t pick it up and carry it to do their dirty work for them by leaving it at my door.
I have a great life, and great friends, and great work, and they deserve my attention. I’m more than happy to let bygones be bygones, and if they want to be a troublemaker, I cannot stop them.
But you can by not spreading their malice.
I hope we can be friends, even if this person isn’t a friend. I think if they were, they would not have said these things to you, because what they said upset you. And it was not about important industry matters. It was all petty, and stupid, and competitive, and personal.
I just don’t care about those things.
Friends let gossip end at their door, and do not drop it on someone else’s door.
Thank you for understanding.